Guinness Infused Christmas Mincemeat

It’s bad enough being at the gym without people bugging me the whole time. I appreciate that my many issues with other gym users stem from my dislike of being there but I don’t think that I am totally out of order on all of them. They are mainly changing room based as I think people seem to forget that they are in a public shared space. Overly aggressive moisturising of upper legs when naked is on my list, especially when one leg is on a bench, and unnecessarily bending while naked within main sight lines is another. I do get it; in a gym changing room there is a need for being naked, and I have no issue if someone wants to wander around naked, or dry their hair naked, it just feels like sometimes ladies are pushing genitalia in my face. It bugs me. 

Then there is more passive aggressive behaviour. The leaving open of locker doors, leaving stuff on a bench in front of a locker that isn’t associated with them and moving the hair straighteners to ‘their’ part of the dressing table even though they clearly aren’t going to use them for ten minutes or more. (I don’t use hair straighteners but the pettiness of ‘claiming’ a shared facility, of which there are a substantial number available, when you don’t need them makes me want to). However my completely irrational one (and I admit this as it has no bearing on my life whatsoever so I should get over it) is people who don’t correctly row on the rowing machine. Why this bugs me I don’t know. It doesn’t stop me rowing properly but the sight of someone just using their legs, and then not completing the action by using their arms to pull on the stupid handle, annoys the hell out of me. I try and rationalise it; they could be injured, maybe they have never seen someone row, maybe they are stupid and don’t want to get any better …… I’ll stop there.  

So this all somehow brings me on to mincemeat – the kind in mince pies just to be clear. I don’t mind mince pies but bought mincemeat can be a let-down. Sometimes the fruit is too dry, even though the mixture is moist, or they pimp it with weird things like glace cherries or they add rum to excessive quantities. I also find the sight of shredded suet off putting as it can look like little maggots sometimes. Many irrational personal issues. Therefore I decided to make my own and stop being annoyed by it. I use the principles of the fruit in the Porter Cake I make and apply them to this – so melting everything together, using Guinness and getting the fruit to absorb the moisture. I was happy with the result but there is no reason why you couldn’t pimp it yourself with glace cherries or rum. The whole point of making your own is that it can be exactly how you want it and you can then inflict that on others. 

Ingredients

280g sultanas and raisins (aim for half and half but I only had 100g of raisins so used more sultanas)

70g mixed peel

100g light brown sugar

125g suet (I used vegetarian as I think it’s weird having a dessert item that is non-vegetarian)

200ml Guinness

1 eating apple, finely chopped

Zest of one lemon

Zest of one orange

2 tsp ground mixed spice

1/2 tsp cinnamon

Good grating of nutmeg 

1.    Put the sultanas, raisins, peel, sugar and suet into a saucepan. Heat until sort of simmering mixing every now and again. The mixture is fairly thick so you want to make sure it doesn't burn.

2.    Turn off the heat and add the rest of the ingredients. Mix well and leave to cool.

3.    Once cool give it a good stir and save until you need it. If you want to keep it for a while then store in sterilised jars but if you're using within a couple of weeks I think an air tight tub in the fridge will do.

 

Cheese Biscuits

The most amazing chocolate shop has opened near where I work. It used to be a Peyton and Byrne so I was devastated when it changed to a rather weak cafe. I could no longer just grab some fabulous cupcakes as gifts for people. However the rather weak cafe has closed and in its place, intoxicating the air with the aroma of a saucepan full of molten chocolate, is paul.a.young.  

The smell dragged me in and I looked in awe at brownies, slabs of chocolates, delicate confectionary and the owner making chocolate tarts right in front of me. I was slightly interrupted from my blissful musings by a rather loud American going on about how wondrous the chocolate was but forgave her when I realised she had suffered a lifetime of Hershey's. Luckily a perfect excuse to purchase brownies was presented to me by the need to provide cake for a meeting. I saw four different types of brownies so said I'd have one of each. I'd seen that one was salted caramel so that was enough for me. 

When I got to the meeting much excitement ensued and the brownies were cut up to be shared. Then, shock, horror and more excitement - one of the brownies was Marmite flavoured. I hate marmite but it went down well with others which I suppose is the point of Marmite. The leftover pieces were taken into another meeting as a form of Russian roulette so it gave much joy. Now Marmite brownies are a fairly normal thing to dislike. Dislike of bread with cheese in, from a person who likes cheese, is just weird in my eyes. The Thew met today's baking with passionate distaste. Apparently cheese goes on bread - pizza is included in this - but not incorporated as an ingredient into it. Therefore cheese biscuits are wrong according to The Thew. I like it so I baked these, plus I had cheese to use up. These make a great Christmas gift accompanied by cheese and can be made thinner and larger if needed (just cook for less time). I was making them to have on their own so make chunky ones. 

Ingredients

175g strong cheese (I had 100g of blue cheese in the fridge so added 75g of parmesan. Aggressive cheddar would work on its own or mixed with others)

100g unsalted butter, softened (cheese can be salty so you can use salted butter but it could make it too salty)

1 egg yolk

175g plain flour (I used 125g white and then 50g of rye as I like the colour it gives)
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

1 egg, beaten (optional) 

1.    Grate the cheese if you can or crumble up. Basically you want small pieces.

2.    Mix the butter, cheese and egg yolk together in a big mush.

3.    Add the flour and pepper and combine to create a dampish dough.  Make into a disk, wrap in cling film and leave in the fridge for 30 minutes.

4.    Preheat the oven to 200°C/GM6 and remove the dough from the fridge. If it’s been in for a while then just let it soften a bit as this will make it easier to roll.

5.    Roll out the dough on a floured surface to about 5mm thick and cut out shapes. I used a round 5cm cutter but you can do shapes if you want. Keep re-rolling until all the dough is used up.

6.    Place on a baking tray (they don’t need to be left far apart as they go upwards not across so you can get quite a few on at a time) and glaze with the beaten egg. If you want them matt, not shiny, then leave it off.

7.    Bake for 12-15 minutes (I turn mine half way through to keep the colour even) and then take out and cool. 

Makes about 25-35 depending on cutter size.

Granola Bars

I may have a slight allergy to gluten. Obviously this is a nightmare for someone who bakes but I can't really deny anymore that I feel much better by cutting gluten out. Damn you gluten!!!!! The Thew is going to be beside himself with the news as he eats ridiculously well and avoids gluten whenever possible, telling me to do the same so I will feel better. He has this annoying habit of being right about things that I don't want him to be right about. Of course sometimes I'm right but have promised not to gloat about that latest incident so putting on my blog would contravene that. 

The Thew used to love the Pret Power Bars they used to do years ago and for some reason I thought I would take it upon myself to recreate them at home rather than just let him buy them. They turned out really well but I didn’t make them for a while (I think because he gave up gluten and this was before gluten free oats were widely available) and lost my recipe. So this week I decided to give it another go. I have used gluten free oats so these bad boys are 'healthy' for a given value when you consider the sugar and butter content. Oh yes! 

The ingredients below are a bit of a guide. The moisture adding ingreidents are needed but you can up the honey or syrup depending on what you like, the same goes for additional fruit and seeds (or nuts if you like those – I’m funny about the food I like nuts to infiltrate). Use what you like best. I always found this a great way to use up any leftover packets of random ingredients. If you have some nuts or odds and sods of dried fruit just whack them in. You can add desiccated coconut, flaked almonds - whatever. Up the oats and reduce the fruit if you want something more flap jack like and less granola bar. The oats are the base for you to customise – just make sure the mixture remains damp. 

Ingredients

250g butter

100g sugar (I use dark or light brown but use what you have)

100g golden syrup

100g honey

300g oats

100g seeds (I had pumpkin, sesame and sunflower but whatever you like. You could use nuts instead)

100g raisins or sultanas

200g other dried fruit (I used cranberries and blueberries but apricots, apple, whatever) 

1.    Preheat oven to 180°C/GM 4 and line a large tin with baking paper. I use a big roasting tin.

2.    Put the butter, sugar, syrup and honey in a saucepan. Heat gently until it's all melted and mixed together.

3.    Chuck all the other ingredients in and mix well.

4.    Turn out into the tin, even out and cook for 20 to 25 minutes (be careful as the fruit can burn on top).

5.    Cool and cut into pieces.

Peanut and Hazelnut Brittle (or Any Excuse to Use a Hammer in the Kitchen)

Remember, remember the fifth of November

Gumpower, treason and plot

I see no reason, why gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot 

I have two very good reasons to not forget the 5^th November. It’s my sisters' birthday and also my sister-in-laws. All a bit random and strange but it helps keep the date front of mind. My sister didn’t really like fireworks when she was little, as many children don’t, which made it a little awkward but she seems to have grown out of it. I adore fireworks (along with balloons and stars) so am very upset that my local park doesn’t do a fireworks display anymore as it got too good and too many people came. I have to be content with pressing my face to my spare bedroom window and watching the sky light up across London. 

When thinking about what to do this week I did entertain the idea of making toffee apples but I couldn’t find any sticks that would stand up to the task. I’ve tried it before with wooden skewers and they are just too weak. However the idea of something that uses harden melted sugar appealed as it felt that it would evoke being by a bonfire. Therefore the idea of making nut brittle formed in my head (I was also passing a Holland and Barrett which made the purchase of nuts fairly easy). 

So below is my version. You can add vanilla extract but I think that distracts from the nuts and a little butter goes a long way to flavour and enhance the sugar mixture. Always be careful around molten sugar as it not only burns but sticks to you while it does it. Don’t lick a spoon, don’t put your finger in during a moment of distraction – it will hurt! I did two brittles with different nuts. I think you can use any but these smaller ones give a good consistency and reduce big bulges of brittle.  I’ve given measurements in cup and weight as I’m nice to you like that. 

Ingredients

1 cup/245g sugar

½ cup/145g golden syrup (tip - whatever touches the golden syrup should have a light coating of oil. So the spoon, container, cup as it comes off easier)

½ cup/125ml water

Pinch of salt

1 tbsp butter

½ tsp bicarbonate of soda

1 ½ cups/250g peanuts (I used salted) or 1 ½ cups/200g hazelnuts 

1.    Line a baking tray with foil and give it a light coating of oil.

2.    Put the sugar, syrup, water and salt in a saucepan and slowly bring to the boil. A medium heat will do as this means you panic less about burning it. Let it boil gently for about 15 minutes when it will start to turn a darker brown.

3.    I have no idea about sugar thermometers so the following method tells you easily when the mixture is hot enough. Have a jug or cup of cold water ready with some teaspoons. Once the mixture is golden brown dip a spoon in it and then transfer to the water. Leave for about 10 seconds. If the mixture has hardened on the spoon then it's ready, if it hadn't then it's not. It won't get rock solid, as it's not pure sugar, but it will get close.

4.    Once your mixture is hot enough, turn off the heat and then add the butter, bicarb and nuts. The mixture will foam up so make sure you use a decent sized saucepan – don’t worry it doesn’t go mad. Stir until it calms down.

5.    Pour on to the foil quickly and smooth into a thin layer using a spatula or metal spoon lightly coated in oil. Then leave to set in the fridge.

6.    Now the fun part. Once set, remove the brittle from the tin foil. Hold over a wooden board at an angle and whack it with a hammer (you could use the back of a heavy knife or a rolling pin but why would you when a hammer can be used?) Keep whacking bits until you get the size pieces you want.

7.    Store in a tin with greased foil between layers or in a jar so people can see how amazing you are at making brittle. 

N.B. You can serve it as a big slab with a hammer next to it for people to make their own piece or it works as a gift wrapped in see through plastic. You could add a toffee hammer as well if you can find such a thing.